It’s a new year and I’ve been cleaning out my house and trying to get some more clarity in my life. I told you about it in my recent post “New Year: Out with the Old!”
However, it’s not always as easy to chuck things out as it might seem. Whenever I go through my house to get rid of things, if I can’t decide, the item stays until the next clean out. I don’t force myself to get rid of anything, because when I’ve done that, I’ve regretted it later on. Sometimes it’s been small things, like clothes. I say small, but I love clothes. Later, when I’ve looked for that perfect cardi, and not been able to find it easily, I’ve looked for ages. It’s only much later that I’ve realised that I’d gotten rid of it during some clean out or other, likely when I was trying to be brutal with my wardrobe.
I’ve had bigger regrets about more important items, which were mementos from my marriage. I’ve had moments of regret about my marriage too, when I wished I could turn back time and change certain moments. Just like the cardi I’ve given away long ago, I can’t go back and change the events of my life, so I’m very careful about what I give away.
I look around my house and there are still plenty of reminders of my former life. While the aim is to get rid of things, there are so many parts of my former life that I liked, some of which I hope to have again.
I hope to host parties again, so while I’m craving empty cupboards, I can’t really get rid of all of my hosting things. I’ll need my party things, like all my serving dishes, wine glasses (though I don’t drink wine), martini glasses (nope, no martinis for me either), and all that. How can I get rid of it? It’s not like I’ll necessarily be able to buy them again. Some of my things are one offs and styles change, so they can’t exactly be replaced!
I have nearly 100 bottles of nail polish, and I don’t use them all that much anymore. I used to be a-ddicted to doing my nails. I used to repair a chip but if I couldn’t repair it, I’d race home and redo that nail. But if it was multiple nails, I’d redo the whole lot! A few years ago I broke that habit and so now, I only wear polish on my toes. While I do my toe nails occcccasionally, I really don’t need that many nail polishes. Buuut, if I get rid of them, I can’t replace them because they don’t make those colours anymore and these are my faves! I’m going to have to do some serious thinking about which polishes I keep.
The point of all of this is to think about which parts of your former life you cherish and want again in future. It’s not just about a cake stand or a nail polish, it’s about what makes you you, and will help you to visualise the type of future you want for yourself.
I like to be the person who throws and hosts great parties, and has cool and beautiful table settings, the right colour candles (cheat- buy clear candle holders and then you can change the candles accordingly- which is why I have a huge box of various sized clear candle holders!). I love that I have a lovely full bar of alcoholic beverages for my guests to enjoy even if I don’t drink all them, or throw parties anymore. (These days I host events out at venues. Have you checked out my events?)
And most of all, I love being part of a couple which loves hosting parties. But, I’ve thrown parties as a Single, and they’ve been fabulous because I’ve had what I needed!
So, if I was to go by the rule of “if you haven’t used it in 6 months, throw it out,” I’d have none of the things I need to throw a party when next I want to. I’d also be left with about 4 nail polishes- perish the thought!
I’m not telling you about my nail polishes and dishware for no reason. Those things are important to me, or where at some stage or another. They’re part of who I’ve become. It doesn’t mean that I need to keep them around for ever, but they have meaning to me.
There are lots of parts of my life, which I will always carry with me into the future, and, good or bad, they’ve formed me. I’m sure that while you’ve been reading this post, memories have come to your mind. I can’t get rid of my dance gear because I plan to go back to dancing when my business is more established. Ideally, my future co party thrower will love to dance too, but we’ll see! I’ll never get rid of my large CD collection because, though I don’t listen to them much these days, they’re a reflection of 3 decades of my life. They tell a story I’d struggle to say.
And thus, these things stay and the rest go on Marketplace, Buy Swap and Sell, and on sunny days, to my front yard, where I hold both planned and spontaneous garage sales.
With each sale, my house becomes more me, and what’s left of my marriage is there because I’ve chosen it to stay. That’s one way I can steer my life in the direction I want it to go. My house becomes lighter and more airy, and I can reorganise the cupboards and shelves in it, and streamline everything I have and want to do in it. My life gets easier by the day, and when I’m finished (again), I’ll be happier at home. And don’t people love to date happy people? Yep, they do!
Do you know what you want for your future? What you want from future relationships? I can assure you, lots of people don’t. I have Singles come to me and we talk about what they want, and it’s often based on their past- what they had, and didn’t have, but always wished for. Then we work on ways they can achieve their heart’s desire.
Book your chat with me and let’s get your plans moving, and get you the love you want.