This is based on a lot of the guys and girls I’ve spoken with about dating in my research, client consultations and such. It doesn’t apply to everyone, but some of you might recognise yourselves in some of this.
Women often wonder why the guy they’re newly dating doesn’t spend enough time with them. It gets them down, they start thinking they’re not good enough, maybe he’s not interested in them. All of that, and more, can really take a toll on their self esteem, and the way they conduct themselves within the relationship.
The chick wants to spend all her time with the guy because he’s hot and she finally got a guy, and he’s cute, and he’s funny, and aaaaaalll the reasons she tells herself. So she makes sure she’s home in case he calls, and she’s ready to go on a date at a moment’s notice- whether he’s available that night or not. Friends fall away because she wants to be able to go out, IF he asks her. There’s less gym, and less socialising apart from when she goes shopping to buy clothes for dates with him. Sounds extreme doesn’t it? It is, but parts of it might ring true, and parts of it are what most women do. For some women, it’s all of them. And some of this is before she even knows if she likes him.
But the guy is going about his business and dating the chick AND still going to the gym, seeing his mates, going to the footy, spending time with his family.
And do you know why?
Because these guys are 90/10 and these women are 10/90.
Guys live their life at 90% and fit a new woman into 10% of it.
Women live their life only to 10% and make the guy 90% of their life, and often prematurely, rather than adding him to it like a hunky accessory.
Then, if they break up, the woman has to start from scratch, going to the gym to take off the excess kilos from all the dates, and break up binges. It feels as though she’s left with nothing and she’s wondering how he could possibly be out in the dating world again so soon!!
But that’s because he kept things in perspective, and she jumped all in and made him her world.
The tip is, regardless of your gender, if you can live the 90/10 way, you’ll have a more rounded life, and you won’t get overly emotionally attached before it’s time.
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