Impressions We Make: facebook Groups

I’m in lots of facebook groups, for research and for fun. Something I see time and time again is rushed posts, and replies to posts or previous comments. The comment may be not thought out, or perhaps it doesn’t use proper English. Sometimes it’s sent halfway through, and then the person writes an ‘oops, wasn’t finished there,’ and continues. Often, the response has very little to do with the original post, or previous comments, because the person didn’t take the time to read the post properly.  

To me, this screams:

×You’re in a huge rush 
×You’re desperate to have your say and want everyone to hear it NOW 
×You don’t respect the original poster or previous commenter  
×You’re not clear about what you’re trying to express or ask for 
×You don’t care about yourself and the impression that you want people to have of you. 

Most of all, it shows your insecurities and chips on your shoulders. Is that really what you want people to know about you, in a public group? These people don’t know you well. It’s one thing to make rushed comments on your own wall, where you’re surrounded by friends who know (and hopefully love) you, but on a public wall, it can have adverse effects.  

What does it say?

There are people out there who are also not reading posts properly. So they’re likely to knock yours pretty quickly, and if what you’ve written doesn’t make sense, and they’ve only half read it anyway, then everyone’s in trouble. And then arguments start. Considering that you’re in that group because you supposedly have a common interest, this isn’t going to help you with that.  

In facebook groups, as in facebook posts, a badly written comment, post etc, can have strangers turn on you in a second, leaving you vulnerable and having to defend your poorly written post/ comment. They don’t know you, and most of the time, they don’t care about you, your feelings, what prompted you to write it in the first place. There are keyboard warriors and trolls out there. All they, and anyone else reading your post, have to go on is the few words you’ve cobbled together which are so far not telling the story you want to tell.  

Do you need something?

If you want advice, you should ask for it. Make it clear. Give a little information, context, and ask your question. Facebook is not the place for sharing your inner thoughts and hoping someone else will make sense of them. Nor should you vent your anger and rage without expecting backlash.  You have to give, to get. And you don’t always get the support you want or need. Be prepared for that, especially if your post isn’t well planned.  

Poor spelling and grammar can detract from the post and can make it really difficult to decipher the message you’re trying to convey or the help for which you’re asking. 

What to do

Stop for a minute, think about the impression you’re trying to make, the advice that you need, or the message you’re trying to spread. If you need to, and especially if your English isn’t very good (you’ll know this by seeing yours compared with other peoples’ comments), write it down separately first.  

Use Word, or notes on your phone, draft it.  
Spell check it!  
No post is so urgent that you can’t wait 5 minutes to think about it, draft it, and review it.  
Use proper sentences, whether it’s in the original post, or in a reply 
Respect the original poster, and don’t go off on tangents. Remember that they’ve asked for help, or have shared something with you that perhaps they wanted input on 

Then, if it really says what you want, and you’re happy with it, then post, and let the cards fall where they may. But at least you know that it’s what you wanted to send, not a mish mash of words you didn’t mean.  

If this post helps you, share it with a friend! Leave a ♥ and a comment about your experiences in facebook groups. 
And remember to sign up here to stay in the know on all Life Stylin’ matters.  

When you find someone in a facebook group who you’d like to get to know better in messenger, check out these handy tips.

 

Xx  

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