When you’re single, there are occasions throughout the year which sting more than other days. Easter and Christmas, for example, can serve as blatant reminders of our aloneness. They can be an opportunity for our minds and hearts to play back the films of our lives, showing us the technicolour stories of the best and worst relationships and happier times. Then, as the metaphorical credits roll, we’re left with a gaping hole of realisation, that we’re not living the life that we want.
It’s not the gifts which get the memories flooding back, though they could be great memories too. Rather, it’s the traditions, and times shared with someone special which spring to mind at the first sight of Easter decorations in shops, or the sound of carols played at Christmas.
It can be really difficult to enjoy these events when all you have is memories and nothing new to take their place. Your new life might not be what you were hoping it would be by now, and thus, it’s very easy to reflect on the past rather than working toward your future.
TV, retail, social media and all those we have around us, make it impossible to ignore the blatant truth, that your old life is long gone. You have choices, but have you moved forward or are you living as though you’re frozen in time?
When you’re in a relationship, you have someone to spend time and go places with. It’s a given- at least, that’s part of the reason you’re in a relationship in the first place.
After that relationship ends, it’s not just your Facebook relationship status that changes.
Finding someone to do things with can be difficult, and not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s just that now, the people you have in your life are focused on their life, not yours. Couples see Easter as an opportunity for a getaway, and that can mean your friends are away and you’re left at home, with no one to hang out with.
Where once you might have gone away every Easter, now you might find yourself at home, catching up on series box sets on Netflix and resting up for the winter to come. Conversely, when you might have had a quiet weekend with your loved one, now you might be seeking adventure and new experiences.
The extra long weekend can mean involuntary solitude, and that can be miserable if you’d rather not be alone. Are you doing anything about it? Are you willing to?
Either way, if you can figure out what you want to do, you should go for it. Making a decision about how you should spend your time can be difficult at these times of the year, because your head can be muddled with the past and your fantasy of what you thought would follow that.
Take note of how you feel, and what you go through over this Easter long weekend, and vow to yourself that you’ll make a change so that you can keep moving forward toward a better life.
If you’re not living the life you’d pictured, it doesn’t mean you won’t in the future, but if you want it you need to work for it. Make new traditions for yourself, whether they involve just you, or other people. You don’t have to be in a relationship to have a new life. Start now, this weekend.
In the Northern Hemisphere, Easter is about the start of spring. Down Under, we’re not leaving winter behind, but we do have 4 days to use to spring clean our lives, and make some decisions and changes. If you’re replaying the films of your life, imagine about what you’d want the next film to feature. Would you like new friends, a relationship, better job? You can have these things, but you might need to make changes to make space in your life.
If your house is weighing you down, use the time to update it, or tidy, reorganise it. There’s a lot you can do in a couple of days, even if you have the odd family event to attend. Indoors or outdoors, use the time to really get stuck into improving your home and making it more liveable or presentable. Who knows, you might be inviting someone over soon, and you want it to represent your best side.
This can be a great chance to set some new habits in place if you’ve been considering looking at your health and diet. If you don’t have Easter events to attend, you can really put some effort into cooking and planning some meals that will see you through the next week or so. That way, you’ll go back to work prepared, and devoid of excuses to ‘pick something up.’
What about reaching out to the people you always mean to catch up with but don’t have time to see? They just might be looking for someone to do something with also, so put out the word on facebook, or contact them directly. Don’t assume that because they haven’t contacted you that they’re not keen- they might still be in day to day fog, and mightn’t think to make plans until the last minute. And then, you or they might be too miserable to actually do something. Get ahead of that and get organising!
The time you save on cooking in the following weeks could be spent doing something new, learning a language, or trying a new hobby.
Whatever you do, try to take charge of your weekend. Make some attempts, even if you don’t succeed. Do something different from other weekends, or other Easters. The way to change or improve your life, is to do something. And that requires you to take action.